By Saiyed M. Fauzan Ali
Life is guaranteed to knock us off our game a time or two, and when it kicks us in the teeth we lose our confidence and passion. At this point, we start feeling exhausted, incredulous, stressed-out, frumpy, and lethargic. It is these kinds of feelings that indicate the absence of our mojo. Mojo is an African word that refers to a source of strength, energy, magical charm, and power. People often lose their mojo when they’re backstabbed by someone they love or when they lose their job or experience a financial setback. It gets really difficult for them to pick themselves up, brush off the past and stand tall.
The previous year, I experienced a set back that turned my life upside down. I was cheated on, lied to, hurt, and broken. I lost my happiness, my self-esteem, and I felt like life as I had known it disappeared – it was almost like I died on the inside. The anxiety would not go away, the thoughts would haunt me at night and they wouldn’t let me sleep, I lost interest in everything. As days passed, I realized that my mojo was gone, and I thought to myself, if this is all there is for me that life offers – why bother even trying to put up a fight? It’s nonsensical. However, as time passed, I knew that I couldn’t stay in this mojo-less place for too long, because it could mushroom into a full-scale depression and I would end up completely destroying myself. I had two options, I could’ve either just sat on my butt and moaned and cried – or take this situation in which I’m placed in, and get up and get my own. So, I finally picked myself up, gathered every ounce of energy that I had within me, and I started my journey to recovery. Over the course of 10 months, I realized that my mojo was already there, and all I had to do was to make some small life changes to spark its magic and bring myself back to life. As I moved forward into my journey of recovery and transformation, I began to feel more energy and enthusiasm about myself and all that this beautiful world had to offer me. So, I’m going to share what I have learned from my past experience, how I managed to survive and become a better version of myself.
If you ever find that you’re unable to bounce back from a setback after much effort, here are five practical ways that will help you rise to your feet, and reclaim your lost mojo.
- Stay Focused on your Core Values
The first advice would be to create strict rules for your life and stick with these rules no matter what. Think about the person that you want to be, and not what others want you to be, because at the end of the day you’re the only person you’re going to face in the mirror. This attitude will make you stronger, and it would increase your focus on yourself rather than on the situation. Ask yourself, what do you have to become to be the person that you want yourself to be? How far apart are these two people? Get aligned with your core values.
- Surround yourself with people who support you
The next step is to make friends who can help you stay on course. I know that it isn’t easy to ask for help, but sometimes you have to reach out and seek help. Find people who ‘get it’, who push you, who would help you out and support you unconditionally.
- Avoid the Triggers
When you’re hurt or irate then you need to stay away from everything that creates negative emotions. If you’ve experienced a breakup then stop listening to songs and avoid movies that remind you of how your ex lied to you, used you, and then stabbed you in the back. Furthermore, anybody who went through separation would know that separation involves parental alienation. It’s like an exclusive package because separation and parental alienation often go hand in hand. The party who is granted the custody of the child, which in many cases is granted to the mother’s family would use the kids as pawns in their game of emotional chess by creating a rift between the child and father’s relationship. People with such a filthy mindset seek to gain an advantage in their self assumed battle through child custody proceedings by trying to force the father to plead for his rights to meet the child, and in many cases, the child is retained from meeting the father through manipulative and sinister tactics. These kind of strategies, in my opinion, are nonsensical, disturbing, and outrageously disgusting. In such cases, moving on is the only practical option rather than dragging your child in an abusive tug of war.
It’s difficult to continue your life without seeing your child, and many a time you will feel the need to hold your child in your arms, especially when you see other people with their children, however, the right thing to do is to be emotionally resilient, or you’d only end up making things more complicated than they already are because people who are atrocious, sadistic and greedy will never hold back from causing trouble for you and your child, if not, then why would they stop you from seeing your child in the first place. If going to a birthday party reminds you of your child, then it’s better that you avoid such occasions for a time being until you find the courage to get back on your feet and alter your future.
Similarly, setbacks such as losing a job, or a family member’s death are also difficult to recover from. However, you need to stop thinking about what is gone and focus on what you still have or what you can do in the future to change things. You just need to focus on the good and avoid the bad long enough to put some wind back in your sails.
- Love your body and take care of it
The workout is the best way to reclaim your mojo. Many psychologists and neuro-specialists believe that lifting heavy is the best anti-depressant that one could find. Eat healthy and clean, and add a few hours of intense weight and cardio training to your daily routine. The workout will not only increase your strength and stamina, but it will also help you become a better version of yourself.
- Be Fabulous
The last but not the least, become somebody nobody not even you thought you could be. Look around you, nobody is model-perfect. People have many imperfections and flaws, so forget about the comparisons and make the best of what you have. Remind yourself, that nobody is built like you-you design yourself. Get a good haircut, wear something that makes you look attractive, and walk with confidence. Be fabulous.
The Bottom Line
So, if you’ve lost your groove then don’t worry. It will come back. I want you to look forward and frame every so-called setback with these words, ‘will it matter in 5 years?’ Do something that your future self be proud of, and enjoy being self-made. Remember that you deserve to live your purpose and enjoy every good that life has to offer you.
– Saiyed M. Fauzan Ali is an MBA/M. Phil specialized in Supply Chain Management and a Certified LSS (USA). The Author has worked in the past as a research analyst and a critical reviewer. He is the founder of The Health Sphere and a fitness and writing enthusiast. You can follow the author on Instagram @saiyedfauzan or visit his Linkedin Profile
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